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#8: From Glass Ceilings to CEO Shoes: Women's Journey in Business Leadership

Samantha Bell
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Have you ever felt like you're bumping your head against the ceiling in a male-dominated business environment?

This episode tackles the challenges and obstacles women face while trying to break free from patriarchal expectations and redefine success on our own terms. We take inspiration from Cheryl Sandberg's book Lean In, and also discuss the huge shift in the business world due to COVID-19 and the golden opportunities it has presented for women to step into their CEO shoes.

 

But stepping into your CEO shoes isn't just about seizing opportunities; it's also about supporting our fellow women on their journeys and setting boundaries when faced with negativity. We explore the differences in career expectations between men and women and discuss the potential for creating an inclusive and empowering environment when we believe in our own abilities. Don't miss this honest and thought-provoking conversation about the challenges and opportunities for women in leadership, and the power we hold within ourselves to change the narrative.

Main Points

  • 0:01       Women in Leadership

  • 3:02      Reframing the Definition of Success

  • 5:02      Equalising Attitudes Post COVID

  • 7:13      Women Are Not Aligned with Established Patriarchal Confines

  • 11:46     Women Are Choosing A Different Path

  • 15:27    Supporting Women As They Rise

  • 17:59    What Stepping Into Your CEO Shoes Is About

  • 24:30    Reading The Room

  • 28:54   Empowering Women To Smash The Glass Ceiling

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of your dreams!

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Hi, I’m Samantha Bell

I’m all about helping you build the business – and life – you’ve always wanted.

Listen in for the simple, actionable strategies, mindset shifts, and practices you need to make your business thrive. Plus, a healthy dose of self-care, health, and wellness so you can live the life you absolutely adore while building your beautiful business.

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Transcription

00:01

Are women who know what they want, confident and assertive, or are they bossy and bitchy? Is there a glass ceiling? Have we reached female equality, or are we still shackled by male-dominated bonds? And how does any of this relate to stepping into your CEO shoes? I discuss all these topics in today's episode. It's open, it's honest, it's sometimes opinionated, but I think you're going to like it. Welcome to the Brilliant Business, Beautiful Life podcast, where we share simple, actionable strategies, plus the mindset and wellness practices you need to build the business and life you love. Head to https://www.16thavecreative.com/playbook and download your free guide to design the business and life you deserve. Today I'm your host, Samantha Bell, and this is the Brilliant Business, Beautiful Life podcast. Are you ready for the business and life of your dreams? Let's get started.

01:02

I'm reading a book called ‘Lean In’ by Cheryl Sandberg. Cheryl was the Vice President of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google and then, in 2008, became the Chief Operating Officer at Facebook until 2022. She's still on Meta's board of directors. She's also served on the board of the Walt Disney Company, Women for Women International, the Center for Global Development and Starbucks, among others, so she's an absolute powerhouse in the C-suite world. But what I love most about Cheryl Sandberg is her stance on equality for women in the workplace, and the organisation that she founded herself called the ‘Lean In Organization’. All about empowering women and breaking the typical male-dominated bonds we encounter in the business world, and supporting each other in whatever we determine success to be. In her book, she talks about the inequality that still exists in the workforce and how we're basically still in a patriarchal society. She's really encouraging women to believe in themselves and to step outside of society's norms or expectations if that's what they want to do, and to start making moves into that male-dominated world if that's what they're called to do. I completely agree with that, and I think it's incredibly important.

But I also think there's a large awareness that's moving through women that it's possibly not the right way forward for them. They don't want to be in that space. They don't want to move into that male-dominated world if they're not already in it. They want to step into their own CEO shoes. They want to create their own space based on their own vision and values. Now, I know that Cheryl would support me in that thinking because she believes that there is not one way that is right for all women, and we need to support all women in making decisions that work best for the individual.

03:02

Now, my perspective is that we need to reframe what success looks like. Success is personal. Success varies from person to person and situation to situation, and we need to consider that. We need to stop using words or phrases like women aren't succeeding in the C-suite environment. I don't think that women aren't succeeding there. I believe many choose not to because they see it for what it is and they're just not interested. So, rather than towing the line and working within an environment that's toxic and not aligned to them, they are making a decision not to take that path, and that decision has got nothing to do with not succeeding. In fact, it's the opposite. They are succeeding. As soon as they made that choice, they said no to something they're not meant for.

03:56

Now, traditionally, it's men that have success in the C-suite roles, and I think that makes perfect sense because think about it, it's an environment and a system that was solely created by men and targeted for the success of men. Women did not get a look in. It's important to recognise that women tend to operate differently from men. As a huge generalisation and I say it's a generalisation. Men in those traditional roles have become highly successful through valuing profit over people, money over environment, power over health and their families. Now, that is not where women operate from, so can you see how different that is? These are inherent differences between how men and women approach the world, and business in particular. One of the reasons women have tended not to shine in this type of workplace or organisational structure is because they have a different compass from men. They have different drivers.

05:02

There are many reasons why there are not equal numbers of women in a meeting room compared to men, and one of those, I believe, is not because women can't, its because they don't want to. This is why we're seeing such a massive shift over the last few years, especially since COVID, actually specifically ever since COVID. After all the negative impacts that COVID brought to the world, I think it was actually an amazing equaliser. It created enormous opportunities around the world that we haven't seen before, and the number of online startup businesses that have come into play, that are run by women and are now thriving because of this opportunity presented when COVID hit and the world shut down. Our eyes were opened to the fact that the typical C-suite lifestyle is not the ideal we've been brought up to believe it was. The typical C-suite attitude can be better. The typical C-suite way of doing business is lacking, and women are so much more emotionally evolved than most men. Again, that's my opinion and a generalisation, and it's based on my own personal observations and experiences as a woman in business.

06:18

Now, it is common knowledge that a woman in a room that is full of these so-called powerful men is not given the same respect as all the other men in that room. She's not given the same opportunities to speak as all the other men in the room. Her opinions aren't valued the same as all the other men in the room. There is a huge disconnect. There's no parity, there's no equality, and despite so many years of women fighting hard for their rights and fighting to be heard and to be seen and to be given the same opportunities as men in the same situation, unfortunately, we are still light years away from that happening. And I think it's because we are trying to make change within a system that lives inside a world that is built by men.

07:13

We're trying to do it within the established patriarchal confines, and that's what's holding us back. That's not how women are naturally aligned. The shift away from women obediently accepting this way of thinking and operating means that we are starting to step into our power now, and that is why we're choosing not to go into that C-suite environment. In fact, we're choosing to leave it (if we're in it). A lot of women are getting out of it. I did. Best thing I ever did! And what are they doing? They're getting out of it and then starting up their own business, the female C-suite. They're stepping into their own CEO shoes, and that's because they recognise and understand that there is a better way of doing things, especially when you leave that toxic environment and refuse to live your life conforming to the typical patriarchal expectations. Instead, we recognise that we have the ability and the right to move through life and build a business with a focus on what our contribution to the world is, what our contribution to our family is, what our contribution to ourselves is, because it's all interrelated.

08:32

And when you're in the typical male-dominated C-suite area, you are stripped of all that. You're not allowed to be that person. You have to deny the fact that you're a mother, you have to deny the fact that you're a woman, and you have to strip back and masculinise yourself, in a way, just to be heard. And even then, when you do, you're still not given the same respect or voice as the other men in that room.

08:58

Even as children, girls who are forthright, who are confident, know what they want, or are natural organisers or natural born leaders, or are simply super passionate about something, they are labelled. They are labelled as bossy, they're labelled as bitchy, they're labelled as dominating or controlling, or overbearing. Or, if they happen to be a teenager, they're told they're going through a phase, and they don't understand what's happening. And that's not how it goes in the real world. They are given labels with absolutely negative connotations. Now a boy displaying those same traits he is labelled as being assertive, confident, and ballsy. You know that's a really masculine term, but it's got a positive connotation, doesn't it? Boys are given all these positive connotations, plus the go-ahead to be themselves and assert themselves enough to follow their passions and to take charge. It's almost a given that that is what a boy will do. Whereas if a girl displays those traits, she's made to feel bad or stupid or unrealistic, or that she's reaching above herself or being driven by emotions.

10:11

We all know how uncomfortable most men are with emotion. So even from childhood and even with all the advances in the movement for equality, we are still facing the same challenges. I have two adult children who I absolutely adore. They're just my life. A boy and a girl. They're 25 and 23. Thankfully, while they have had discrimination, they haven't had the same levels that I did growing up. My daughter certainly hasn't experienced exactly the same level of sex discrimination that I did, but she still has, and she still does. It's very prevalent in our community and it continues to hold our girls back in ways that it does not for our boys.

10:53

The suffragette movement it started way back in 1832. Mary Smith from Yorkshire petitioned her local parliamentarian for women to have the right to vote. That was in 1832. We are still fighting for equality, maybe not to vote, but for equality in most other areas 191 years later! 191 years later we are still petitioning for the right to have our own voice heard in our own way, in whatever room we choose to walk into.

11:23

And you know, being a female doesn't necessarily mean you wear pink, and you wear high heels. You can wear whatever you like. Some women rock overalls and steel-capped boots. Being a woman is not about what you wear. It's about being you, moving through life authentically and being allowed to do so without hindrance, and that is the huge difference between men and women.

11:46

And unfortunately, in the standardised business world, we're still being stripped of our basic rights and our power, and that's why a lot of women are choosing to move away from that, and I think it's so incredibly important. We should be reframing how we speak. No longer should we hear ‘She couldn't cut it.’ Well, maybe it's not that she couldn't cut it. She most likely could have cut it to pieces, but she just didn't want to, because she wasn't interested in all the politics and the rubbish that goes on. She didn't want to be there. She actually valued herself more than standing in a room full of men being patronised or ignored or spoken over the top of, or only being invited into the room as a life diversion. Maybe she didn't want to go to a workplace where she still experiences sexual harassment, where she still gets paid less than a male counterpart for exactly the same job, where she gets to the end of her work career with less superannuation than a man who has had the same career. Because she's been paid less for all of her working life, so she's accrued less superannuation And, she's also had to take time off to raise children because, you know, that was the woman's role. At every single point, she has been held back.

12:58

That is what women are objecting to, that is what women are standing up for, and that is why I am so passionate about getting women out of that environment. And instead saying, ‘I'm here, I have a voice, and this is what I'm going to do, and this is how I'm going to do it. I see a different way, I see a better way of doing things.’  And I just take my hat off to every single woman who puts themselves out there and chooses to leave the safety, the security and the familiar behind to tread her own path and build her own business her own way. It's just fabulous. It can be also quite isolating and a very lonely journey, because quite often you're surrounded by friends and family, even partners, who just don't understand it. They don't understand your need for change or your need for more or to do more, because quite often, when you start to do things in a different way than you always have done, they get really uncomfortable and don't like it.

13:59

People do not like change, and when they experience a change in you, they're likely to start making comments. You'll hear things like, ‘Oh, she's become hard, she's selfish.’ ‘How can she put herself over a family like that?’ ‘All she cares about is money.’ ‘Who does she think she is?’ ‘What makes her so special?’ ‘She should just go back to her day job.’ ‘She's going to fail.’

Have you ever heard any of those comments said about other women, or even had them directed at you? I'd actually be surprised if you hadn't, because they go hand in hand with becoming the CEO of your own life and people's opinion of you.

14:36

When you do, it will change. Some will be beautiful, some will be so absolutely caring, supportive and loving and excited for you, and they are the people you want to keep around. Just nurture those people and be grateful for them. They are gold. Hang on to them. But others, they won't accept the change in you, and they may be quite negative and will try to hold you back. You get those negative connotations and those negative comments because you've grown, but they haven't. You've evolved, and you've stepped into your power. They haven't. And that confronts them. They don't know what to do with it. They don't like it, and they just want you to stay the same and nothing to change. Well, that's them being selfish and not seeing a bigger picture and not supporting you in your journey through life.

15:27

And what we need to do as women is, if we see another woman rise up trying to do things differently or do things better, even if we don't understand it, we need to support her, be her cheerleader and say, ‘You know what, if this is your dream, if this is what you want to do, I wholeheartedly am in your corner. I'm backing you every step of the way.’ You don't have to agree with someone. You don't have to understand their reasons for doing what they're doing. But if you're a friend or a loved one or a family member, you do need to support that person anyway because that's what friends and families and loved ones do. But thankfully, if you don't have friends or families or loved ones that can or will do that for you, there is a strong, beautiful community of like-minded women. And you've only just got to reach out and you will be completely surrounded by phenomenal people who just get you and understand your passion because they feel it too and they are going through and doing exactly what you're doing. They may be steps ahead of you, they may be steps behind, but they get it, they're doing it, they're living it, and they'll back you every step of the way.

16:39

And when you experience this shift within yourself and you do make these changes in your life, it can also cause a shift in the friendships, and some friendships will break down. And you know, you'll have some people who will judge you, and they'll say, ‘Oh, you're not putting your family first,’ or ‘I would never consider being so selfish’, all those really negative statements and negative labels, simply because you're doing what you were born to do. On the flip side, if it was a man, it would not even be a conversation. It would be a case of, ‘Oh yeah, Gary, he's building another empire, he's got this great, fabulous idea. I don't fully know what it is yet, but it's amazing. He is going to do so well.’ That's the type of conversation that would happen if it was a man. That's the type of conversation we need to happen when it's a woman, regardless of her age, regardless of her social standing, regardless of whether we understand what she's doing or why or not. And that is how women are going to move forwards in a positive way in this world. Men aren't going to make it happen for us. No one is going to make it happen for us. We need to make it happen for us all by ourselves, but collectively.

17:59

And that is what stepping into your CEO shoes is all about. It's about creating a life that you love, and that is true to you. And if that means letting go of some people in your life that don't understand and are holding you back, well, you know there's a saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season or for a lifetime, and their season with you may have passed. If that's the case, you just have to lovingly and thankfully say, ‘I love you, I respect you, I honour you. But this is where I'm at. I'm on a different path now and I'll catch up with you at some point down the track.’

18:37

You don't need to wipe people out of your life simply because they're on their own path and you're on your own. If you cut them out that easily, you're actually judging them and doing that negative thing that you don't enjoy very much. But the time that you do need to lay a firm line in the sand is when people are being incredibly cruel or negative or purposely trying to hold you back. That's not helpful, and that's not healthy. That is when you actually need to have a boundary that can't be crossed. You can have a conversation with that person and say, ‘Look, I find what you're doing is out of line, those comments are disrespectful or really hurtful to me’, (or whatever it is). You say to them and tell them, ‘This is where I'm at, this is where I'm heading, and this is what I want to do. You don't need to understand it, you don't need to agree with it, but if we're to maintain a relationship, you need to respect that and respect me as a human being capable of making those choices for myself.’

19:43

And when you have that conversation, you are being respectful of the other person. You're giving them the opportunity to get on board with you or to not get on board, and you're giving them the opportunity to make the decision that's right for them. But, importantly, at the same time, you're setting a boundary. And that boundary is, if their decision is not in alignment with yours, that you are comfortable to say, ‘Okay, that's fine, I love you, but I’ve got to leave you.’ And that's okay. It always is, it always has been, but we women as a collective have never been encouraged to do that. We tend to keep those people around because we don't want to hurt their feelings, or because they've been around for so long, or whatever the reason is, even though they're hurting us or holding us back. And that's unhealthy.

20:34

So part of embracing your power and stepping into your CEO's shoes is to start surrounding yourself with the people who get who you are and support you on that journey. You know how good does it feel. How good does it feel when you're in a room and the conversation is flowing, and the ideas are bouncing off the walls, and you're totally in tune with each other. And you might be on completely different paths You can even have polar opposite ways of doing things, but you've got that similar mindset, and it's really invigorating, and supportive environment, and you just can't wait to get in that room with those people. That's where you want to be. You want to be in that room with the people that light you up, people that challenge you and genuinely support you on the path you're travelling.

21:20

Compare it to the other room. How horrible is it when you walk into a room and no one understands you. No one knows what you're saying. They don't care. They're not paying your attention. They don't care if you're sitting over in the corner by yourself. They're not interested in your opinion or your perspective. They only want to talk about themselves. They only want you to listen to them. They don't want you to have an opinion unless it's theirs, and they don't understand where you're coming from, and they choose not to try.

21:47

It feels really uncomfortable, doesn't it? It strips you there. It makes you feel like you've been stripped of your identity and that you have to merge and mould and meld to fit in. And you should never have to feel that way. Actually, no man or woman or child, no person should ever be made to feel that way. Everyone is beautifully different. There's not one human on the planet that's the same. So, you've got to expect you're going to walk into rooms where you don't fit, and what you need to do is feel comfortable in the not fitting. And I'll say that again. You need to feel comfortable in the not fitting. Think to yourself okay, this is a room full of great people. They're just not my people. They're great and they're great together, but they're not for me. Then leave that room, move around, find another room, and one day you will find your special room that is full of great people, but they're your people and you're just completely drawn to them and they're drawn to you. It's like magnets. You can't get enough of everything that's going on in that room. That's where you want to be, but not in a dependent way, not in a co-dependent way, but as a completely self-sufficient woman, confident in holding your own space.

23:10

Every woman on the planet should be able to walk into any room, no matter who's in it, and take up all the space she needs. She should be able to walk in there with full confidence, head held high, knowing that her voice is important and she deserves to be heard and that, taking space gracefully, respectfully but powerfully, with everything she is, everything you are, and it doesn't matter what your personality is. There are so many different types, so many different combinations. You could be an introvert, you could be an extrovert, you could be a combination of the two. I know for myself I'm an introverted extrovert. I can be extremely quiet and shy in one group, but I can be outgoing and confident in another. Depends on where I'm at personally, depends on the people I'm around, it depends on the purpose for being in that room. If I'm in a room of people I'm there to learn from, I'm more likely to watch and listen and absorb than to get involved. I'll ask questions, but it's being mindful, and it's just soaking up everything I possibly can, whereas if you're in a room where everything is equal, the knowledge, the talent, the commonalities, it's all equal, you're more likely to chatter and banter and laugh and joke. That's what would happen in that room. So it's completely different.

24:30

And this is one thing women do really well. Read the room. And that's quite possibly another reason why we're not interested in getting into the typical patriarchal C-suite room because we read it. We walk into that room, we see that table with all those men sitting around in their big chairs, and we walk in there, and we see looking at their faces you're in it for you, you're in it for you, you're in it for you, you're in it for you. And we try to spot the difference. We try to spot someone who's in it for anyone but themselves, and quite often, that's a hard task. You see, we read the room. We see through all the smoke in the mirrors, we see through it all, and we don't want that. That's why we're creating our own C-suites, that's why we're stepping into our own CEO shoes, And I am so proud of every woman who does, because it's brave, it's bold and, to use that male word, it's ballsy.

25:33

And we take ballsy to another level. We really do. Because a man can walk into any room or start any business without stumbling across any of the obstacles or barriers that a woman does, so they have it easier from day one. It's an expectation that a man will have a career that will take him away from his family, his kids, his friends. It's his expectation that he will do whatever he needs to. He will do whatever he wants to, and that's okay. Women don't have the same right. We should.

26:07

People think we do, but in reality, we don't. Yet. And that's why so many women like me, like you, like so many others, are stepping away from that norm and have chosen to take the brave, bold, beautiful leap and create our own destiny and build our own businesses, so we can have our own life. We can create an environment where every person who steps into our room, every single person, is heard. They are valued, they are important, and they are empowered to make a difference in the world in some way, even if it's just one person at a time, because collectively, if one woman at a time is making a difference, that's a whole lot of change in the world. If we all stood up, and we all stood out and did what we were born to do and were confident and left those limitations that we learned as children, if we would just put all of that aside and started to believe in ourselves and in our own worth and our ability and our absolute right to fill up whatever space we need to, and to never, ever feel small, imagine the huge impact we can make as human beings on this planet and help other people do the same. And that is what this podcast is all about. That is what my business is all about. That is what stepping into your CEO's shoes is all about. You know, I'm not a brain surgeon. I'm not doing open heart surgery. I am not doing anything remotely like saving physically saving a life, but I am helping women through my services, through my skills, through my advice and support, to empower them and help them build their business, to get out of that rat race and to do their life their way. I think that's brilliant. Whatever you are called to do is what you need to do. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's breaking into that male-dominated world and conquering it, and conquering every room and continuously showing up and being the only woman in their room. That's great.

28:15

We actually need women doing that. I completely admire and respect those women who do. We need more women in the boardrooms. We need to go from one woman in a room of 10 to two, to three to four, to being 50-50. Five men, five women. That's equality. We need 50-50 parity. Absolutely. But we also need the women who don't want any part of that. We need those women to have the power, the support and the confidence to pick up with whatever it is they want to do, and to run with it. We need people around us to say good on you, I've got your back, take this, it's yours.

28:54

By empowering women with the confidence, knowledge, skills and support to leave their nine-to-five and to start their own business, we're helping to smash that glass ceiling and stop women from feeling the need to justify their existence and instead love their life. And that is what stepping into your CEO shoes is. We all have the ability to reach our full potential, so let's change the conversation. Let's build the business and life we adore. Bossy, bitchy, fabulous. To me - they mean exactly the same thing. To me, they mean you, and I, running our own races.

29:36

I wonder if any of today's episode resonated with you. If you've had the same thoughts or similar experiences or made your own observations which could be completely different to what I discussed in today's episode. I genuinely would love to know. So do feel free to send me a DM on Instagram with your perspective. I would love to hear it.

29:59

If you are stuck dreaming about leaving your nine-to-five to do something more fulfilling with your life, but really have no idea if you can or how to start, I've created a free guide. It's called your nine-to-five exit plan, and it's a really practical, super unsexy plan, for ambitious women to help you plan your transition from being a corporate hostage to becoming an empowered corporate escapee. And it's not just a typical download that's going to leave you disappointed. It's actually full of actionable steps. It has a special specific calculator, a transition planner, so that you can ditch your nine to five, and I know you're going to love it. It is the five things you must do right now If you're serious about escaping the nine-to-five to build the business and lifestyle of your dreams. It is the opposite of what you've been told, and it will set you up for success. You can literally map out your freedom in just three hours, and you can get it at my website, 16thavecreative.com/9-5-exit-plan and it will help you.

31:18

So, if any of today's episode did resonate with you and you're feeling trapped or you're surrounded by that male-dominated, patriarchal system that is just sucking the soul and the life out of you, grab this exit plan. It's going to help you. You can map out how to escape and build the business and life of your dreams, if that's something you've been thinking of doing. So I really encourage you to do that. It's free and it will only take you about three hours, so that's nothing in the big scheme of things, is it? So, good luck and let me know how you go. Thanks so much for listening. I'd love to know your biggest takeaway from today's episode, so leave me a comment below or send a DM on Instagram. If you enjoyed this episode, hit the subscribe button wherever you listen to the brilliant business, beautiful life podcast and feel free to share your thoughts and thoughts. And remember the time is now for your Brilliant Business and the Beautiful Life you adore.