The Power of Self-Care and Positive Self-Talk in Business
Have you listened to yourself lately?
Discover the massive impact that practising self-care and positive self-talk can have on you… and your business.
Prefer to watch? Here’s the video on YouTube
I’m sharing with you a personal experience of mine…
I recently went away on a gorgeous women’s wellness retreat run by one of my beautiful clients Cindy Johnston from Soul Sobriety Coaching and Retreats. It was held in Berry, New South Wales, which is a glorious location - stunning countryside, and then down the road to beautiful beaches. you Couldn’t ask for a better spot!
The focus of the retreat was self-care. And it was amazing.
The whole weekend, I was surrounded by the most beautiful humans. Every woman on the retreat inspired me in some way, shape or form. They were all strong, intelligent, insightful, and were there for all the right reasons. To reconnect with themselves and other women on their own journeys in life, in a completely supportive, loving, non-judgmental way.
It was beautiful, and I came back completely elated from the experience.
What the retreat did for me is highlight how important self-care is, but also how essential it is to be aware of your own self-talk and thoughts because they’re so incredibly powerful.
They can put you on a completely different trajectory. They can either elevate you or decimate you.
That’s how powerful self-talk is.
Over the weekend, we ate lots of healthy food, exercised and did activities I hadn’t done before, like Qi Gong/Tai Chi, sound bath healing, and EFT techniques. So it was a lot of holistic learning, which was wonderful for my mind, body and soul.
Coming home from that experience, I was on such a massive high! I was like, “Yes! I can do anything. I can conquer the world. My dreams? I’m smashing them! No obstacles. Nothing is going to stand in my way. I am Wonder Woman!” They were the thoughts I was having. That’s how powerful this weekend away with beautiful women, run by Cindy, was for me. I’m just so grateful that I was able to have that experience.
The interesting thing I found was the change that happened to me afterwards. I don’t know if any of the other women experienced this, but for me, that feeling of elation lasted about one week, and then things changed.
I became overwhelmed by a barrage, a torrential downpour, of negative thoughts. Really terrible and debilitating self-talk. It was polarizing. It disabled me and stopped me in my tracks. I felt like I was slipping into a sort of depression. Maybe I wasn’t, I don’t know. But it was not a good place, and it was overwhelming.
That negative self-talk surprised me, and I wondered where it came from. Why was this happening? I’d just had a fantastic experience away with phenomenal people who have enriched my life.
So why the polar opposite feelings and thoughts?
Why had I gone from a massive high to an incredible low within the space of a week?
It didn’t make sense to me. I realised I needed to listen to my thoughts and ask, “What am I actually saying to myself?”
So, every time a thought came in, I’d evaluate, “What did I just say to myself?” Quite often, it would be things like, “You’re stupid,” “You can’t do this,” or “What are you thinking?” “Why do you think you’re so good that you can do that and no one else can?” And many, many other very negative thoughts. Some were often along the lines of, “You’re too fat,” “You’re too old,” “You’re too ugly,” and “You’re too this/too that/too whatever.” So much horrible self-talk.
When I stopped to listen to this dialogue, I realised that what I was saying to myself was nothing new. Nothing new at all. I have been saying things like that, and worse, to myself for as long as I can remember. That’s pretty awful. It’s no wonder I was feeling like crap!
I delved a little deeper and started to think about where those thoughts had come from. I knew they were long seated. But why? What had germinated those thoughts? Because they’re actually not true, and I don’t need to listen to them.
When I stopped and really listened to myself, it took me back to where I had first heard those things said about me. Some of my negative self-talk was Samantha talking to Samantha at five years old. Samantha talking to Samantha at 16 or 26, or at some other point in my life where the wheels fell off, or someone had said something extremely hurtful to me. Or an event that had happened that impacted me negatively. Other thoughts came about because someone I deeply loved and admired had possibly said something inappropriate or hurtful. All those thoughts and comments embedded themselves into my mind for my lifetime.
And that’s where these current thoughts were coming from.
So, effectively what I’d done was to put myself into a box. Not just a cardboard box. A really well-constructed titanium cube with the lid welded shut. (I don’t know if you can weld titanium or not, but it gives you a visual). So, I’m in this titanium box with all those thoughts, just swirling around and around and around. I can’t escape them. They are with me constantly, day in, and day out, whether I want them or not.
It was obvious I needed to do something. I had a bit of a talk with myself and said,
“You know what, that’s all rubbish and isn’t true. You get to decide who you are. You get to decide whether you’re good enough, or whether you’re not, whether you’re creative enough or not, whether you’re pretty enough or ugly enough or fat or skinny or whatever the thing is. You get to decide because it’s about you. It’s your life. And no one else gets to decide things for you. So, everything you’ve heard in your life means nothing unless you give those memories or thoughts power.”
How wonderful that this negativity happened! It sounds strange I know, but going on this retreat has opened my mind, truly, to practising self-love – which includes recognising where I’m going wrong.
All these years, I’ve been practising self-hate hatred. Hatred! And it’s never left me. All it’s done is hurt me. I’ve given those thoughts the power to hurt me and hold me back.
Now it’s time to take my power back!
It’s time to step into the here and now and say to those thoughts,
“Okay, come on in. I acknowledge you, but that’s rubbish. It’s not true. That’s not now. I forgive you. I release you. You have no power over me anymore. Because I am amazing. I can do anything that I put my mind to. And I’m going to do just that. And you’re not going to stop me, not one little bit.”
Reaching that point, for me, was a fundamental transformation. It felt like stepping into my own power, which I’d been denying myself for my lifetime.
I had been repeating a lifetime of habits.
Now I can recognise when I am responding reactively to something or following a pattern on auto-pilot because that’s how it’s always been done. If I start to think in the negative ways of the past – I can now change it up. I can choose my thoughts and my reactions. That will make an incredibly powerful and positive impact on my life, health, relationships, and business!
Without attending this beautiful wellness retreat with Cindy, I would probably still be stuck talking down to myself, hating on myself and disabling myself without even realising it.
So apart from healthy eating, exercise, a gorgeous location, and wonderful women, this retreat allowed me space and the ability to reconnect with myself. To work on my mindset and encourage positive thoughts.
Focusing on those positive things and stepping into your power is life-changing. It truly is.
Just the other day bought a pair of shorts from a clothing store I stumbled across called Ghanda Clothing. I love those shorts because inside the zip, every time I pull the zip up or down, I see a little message. That message is, “Be kind to yourself.” I think that’s amazing. Such an important, powerful message that everybody needs to hear every day. So, guess what? They’re my new favourite shorts because they give me that message and reminder every time I wear them. They make me feel good. And part of that good feeling is because of the message they give me.
We need to concentrate on the message we give ourselves. It’s so powerful, so impactful and is incredibly important.
Every woman needs to step into her power. Every woman needs to support every other woman on their journey.
We’re all on different journeys because we’re all beautifully unique individuals. We all have different skills, interests, and loves, which makes the world so interesting, doesn’t it?
If you’re a business woman and you have created a business you love - it’s more than just a business to you. It’s a part of you. You don’t just get up and go do the job and then come home and get your paycheck at the end of the week. You’re not on autopilot with this thing. You’re in it heart, soul, mind, body, grit, every single day. It’s a part of your life, and it’s important.
So, it’s important to treasure and nurture the passion for your business and the effect it has on your clients.
But you can’t if you don’t treasure and nurture yourself.
Importantly do the work whether you want to or not. Not every workday is going to be perfect. Not every day is going to look the way you want it to look, or feel the way you want it to feel.
Everything might fall to rubbish, and you might not just feel like doing things. But if you wait to feel like you want to do it, well, you might be waiting a really long time because that feeling may never come.
What was initially a 5, 10, 15-minute, 20-minute, or one-hour job, can potentially turn into a three-week debacle where you have spent that entire time stuck up in your head, talking to yourself about all the things you need to do, should do, want to do, have got to do, and all that stuff, procrastinating when you could have had it done. I mean, that’s just a waste of time.
Seriously, just do the work. Whether you want to or not, do the work. Get in, get out, done!
No procrastination.
Procrastination is stressful. You don’t need more stress. Everyone bangs on all the time about reducing stress, so reduce it, simply - by not procrastinating.
Recap: To do well in your business, do these things…
Connect with other women
Practice self-care
Tell yourself something wonderful about yourself every day
Focus on your why and your journey
Trust your instincts, and
Do the work - no procrastinating!